Pro-Tip: Clarity in Paragraphs and Transitions

It’s easy enough to say that each paragraph you write should make sense. It’s an obvious thing for me to say, and all of you reading this are probably thinking,”Well, that’s not advice.” And you’re right. But beyond that, clarity in a paragraph means that each segment of text should have a distinguishing factor, a reason that it is its own paragraph. In short, a main idea that is summarizable. So, if a paragraph is separated from the one before or after it just as a break in text, for visual appeal or as a small breather, that’s not enough reason for the segment to stand alone. If that separate segment doesn’t have its own main point, its own idea or skeleton that makes it exist separately from the previous paragraph, then it shouldn’t be separate. 

Don’t let high school lessons on paragraphs trip you. Forget the “a paragraph has about five sentences” lesson, and forget the “that paragraph is the entire page” complaint. If there is a reason for all of those thoughts to exist together, then so be it. BUT, that is the great and determining question, both for deciding if you need to break into a new paragraph or group smaller segments into one large piece. Ask yourself: 

• Are like ideas together?
• Does this paragraph have a main point?
• Although related overall, does it exist independently of the previous and following paragraph?

Depending on your answers, you’ve either created a clear paragraph with backbone and purpose, or you haven’t. Revise accordingly.

If you have no reason for a paragraph to be on its own, if it’s a continuation of the previous paragraph, put it with that other paragraph. Keep like ideas together. Otherwise, have a good reason for your choices.

• Example: Breaking a paragraph in the middle of one narrative moment because the paragraph looks too long on the page versus purposeful/stylistic dislocation or repetition of an idea apart from the main narrative that contains it to achieve flashback or flash forward

When you do need to start a new paragraph, use topic sentences or transition sentences. They say, “Here I am. I am related to the general ideas of the text as a whole, but I am my own entity. I am taking you from the idea in that paragraph to this one, and even though we’re different, we belong together. I’ll prove it.” And then you use the body of that paragraph to prove it. I’ve always said, and any of my formers students reading this can attest, that if you want your reader to reach a certain conclusion about your ideas, you must lead them there with transitions. What you see as related may not seem so apparent to others without that clear signal. You’re the writer. Of course YOU know what you’re trying to say. Will your reader? As such, use that transition as the topic sentence which lends the new paragraph clarity for being its own thing, clarity/summarizabiltiy in its topic, and clarity in its purpose for existing in the story at all. Again, if the paragraph doesn’t do these things, it probably shouldn’t be there (either on its own, or maybe at all–see pro-tip on letting go of the junk).

Finally, keep in mind that all of this advice on paragraph breaks applies only to narrative and content paragraphs. Dialogue, of course, does not fit in this scenario because all new beginnings of dialogue, whether switching between speakers or switching between speaker and narrative, begin a new paragraph. This is a rule of formatting not to be confused with what I’ve said here about lumping large pieces of text together if it all has the same main idea. Please don’t do that with dialogue. 

For more discussion, see the comments section below or email me at marsicoam@gmail.com! In the meantime,

Happy writing!

Amanda Marsico

Editor, Proofreader, Red Ink Enthusiast

Pro-Tip: Dump the Junk

If something in your writing isn’t working, CHANGE IT. Don’t get too attached to the first version (or second or third) of something. Jot it down and save it for later before erasing it from your work completely. It may become useful again in a different area of the text. If not, it may apply to another project at another time. This is especially useful for those lines we write and really, really love. You know the ones. They’re hard to delete even if they’re no longer serving your purpose. Sometimes things get said just right. So dump the junk, but save it. Be a line-hoarder. Your literary house is spotless, but you’ve got that crammed closet your friends don’t know about. If and when they find it, you know what it’s there for. Like Monica says in the video link, it’s where all the things that don’t fit in belong.

Self-Editing Tip #15: Quotation Marks

Quotation Marks

On many people’s list of pet peeves is the misplaced quotation mark. I’m reminded of the episode of Friends where Joey puts air quotes around almost every word because he’s not sure how to use them. It makes for a humorous show, but can really take your credibility down a notch. On a side note, there are slews of people who have a pet peeve about air quotes in general, even when used correctly, but I digress.

Quotation marks in their most common usages 1) set apart dialogue in writing that has speech between characters and 2) distinguish information used verbatim from other sources.

Ex. of dialogue

“Go to time out, John. Is putting your hands on your friends the way you’re supposed to solve an argument?”

“No.”

“What do you need to do instead?”

“Talk to them or get a teacher…”

Notice when a new speaker takes a turn talking, a new line of text is started and it is indented as if it is a new paragraph (even if it’s just one sentence long).  This rule of dialogue also applies to statements where you might repeat what someone said.

Ex. Did you just say, “I ate cats,” or, “I make hats,” Ken?

Also remember that Standard Written American English requires all commas, question marks, ellipses, etc. that pertain to what the character says go within the quotation marks. Other English-speaking nations put their punctuation outside of the quotation marks. Punctuation that pertains to the sentence as a whole, not the speech taking place, goes outside of the quotation marks (like in the example above).

Ex. of quotation

As a result, the child’s “true identity…remains hidden. This pattern distorts intimate relationships and may continue into adult life” (Schaverien 138).

Source

Schaverien, Joy. “Boarding School Syndrome: Broken Attachments A Hidden Trauma.” British Journal Of Psychotherapy 27.2 (2011): 138-155. Academic Search Complete. Web. 7 May 2013.

In this sentence, the quotation marks surround the text which is borrowed, or quoted, from another source. Because I have taken the phrase verbatim from its original author, a source citation is needed in addition to the quotation marks in order to give credit to that author. When summarizing or paraphrasing from another author (meaning your text is not identical to the original source), no quotation marks are needed around the text, but a citation is still required. Failure to cite that borrowed thoughts are borrowed is plagiarism.

Now, back to Joey and his air quotes. Though he placed his quotes in all the wrong places, the concept he was trying to employ was the use of quotation marks to emphasize irony, sarcasm, the unusual, or the unlikely/unreal.

Ex. That “alien” you thought you saw under your bed was really just a pile of dirty clothes and some scary shadows.

Ex. Yeah, we’re too busy “working” to do that.

So, when Joey said he was, “Sorry,” that implied that he didn’t truly mean it. In the graphic, you can see another example of misplaced quotations that disrupt the meaning (semantics) of a message.  It leads you to question whether they actually DO want people to use the bottled water, and whether it really is coffee they’re making with it or not. Simple lesson to take away from Joey and bad signs everywhere: quotation marks do not increase emphasis on a word, change the intonation when read aloud, or magically make ordinary words titles of objects as in the case of “coffee.”

It’s also necessary to place quotation marks around titles of small works.

DO use quotation marks	DON’T use quotation marks
Individual Poems and Short Stories	Collections of Poems or Stories/Anthologies
Individual Songs	Album/Opera/Musical Composition Title
Short Plays	Plays with more than 3 acts
Individual Essays	Collections of Essays/ Anthologies
Magazine/Journal/Periodical Articles	Newspaper/Magazine/Journal as a whole
Episodes of TV or Radio Show	Title of Show/Movie
Theses/Dissertations/Reports	Conference Proceedings/Legal Cases
Unpublished Writing
Manuscripts	Books
Art Exhibits	Work of Art

Chart made based on list by: Robin. “Quotation Marks Rules: Grammar Guide.” Hub Pages. Hub Pages Inc. 2013.

Web. 14 Aug. 2013.

The less common occasion of a quote within a quote is handled with the help of two apostrophes. In this case, the innermost quotation will use an apostrophe at the beginning and end of the quotation and the outermost quote will get the full quotation marks.

Ex. As a courtesan, Angellica Bianca, much “’Like the actress [and] the woman dramatist[,] is sexualized, circulated, [and] denied a subject position.’” For actresses and writers, the ladies are prevented from having that subjectivity “’in the theater hierarchy’” (Elin quoted by Herrin 20).

Source

Herron, Shane Michael. “’Ludicrous Solemnity’: Satire’s Aesthetic Turn.” State University of New York at Buffalo, 2011. United States — New York: ProQuest. Web. 28 May 2013.

In this essay on Aphra Behn’s The Rover, I quoted a source who quoted a source. Because the quote I used was already a quote, I had to make the original quote marks into apostrophes and then add my own quotation marks on the outside of them in order to indicate I was quoting a quote. In the citation, I noted for the reader’s clarity that my source, Herrin, quoted a source, Elin. In the end, I was quoting both of them, so they both needed credit. In a works cited page, only the source you get the quote from needs inclusion (even if it is not the original source of the phrase).

Feel free to contact me with any grammar questions you may have (on this topic or others) using the form. I also take suggestions for future topics you’d like me to cover! Looking forward to hearing from you. Write on!

–Amanda Marsico

Editor, Proofreader, Red Ink Enthusiast

marsicoam@gmail.com

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Self-Editing Tip #11: Coordinating and Correlative Conjunctions

Coordinating and Correlative Conjunctions–Coordinating conjunctions connect phrases or sentences within a single sentence as equal structures. And, but, nor, for, or, and yet are all excellent choices for employing this form for more complex sentences. Correlative conjunctions are similar, but come in pairs. Think of them as power conjunctions. Correlative conjunctions allow a writer to place emphases on certain parts of a sentence over others, compare and contrast ideas, and list in order of importance. However, the pairs must be used correctly to have these sentence-boosting effects. The following lists the prescribed pairs for correlative conjunctions: either-or; neither (and sometimes not)-nor; both-and; not only-but also. Without the proper conjunction in the pair, the first conjunction has no impact, and the sentence makes little sense.

Ex. Correct= The hotel boasts both four Michelin Stars at its in-house restaurant and a world-class spa.

Incorrect= The hotel boasts both four Michelin Stars at its in-house restaurant or a world-class spa.

To use correlative conjunctions for emphasis, consider which part of the sentence you naturally inflect when reading aloud. Write your sentence. Read it aloud. Does your voice inflect at the point you want attention drawn to most? No? Try moving the conjunction, or using a different conjunction.

Ex. The hotel boasts both four Michelin Stars at its in-house restaurant and a world-class spa.

VS.

The hotel both boasts four Michelin Stars at its in-house restaurant and touts a world-class spa.

By placing “both” before the object of the sentence, in the first example, the idea that the hotel boasts more than one extraordinary feature is emphasized. By placing “both” before the verb of the sentence, it suggests that the hotel does more than one thing. Each example is correct grammatically. On a semantic level, the placement of the correlative conjunctions can change the meaning of the entire sentence. It is up to the writer to decide what element of a sentence means the most.

To use correlative conjunctions to compare and contrast ideas use “both-and” (grouping/comparison); “neither-nor” (grouping/comparison); or “either-or” (choices/contrast) between related or opposing points to link ideas in an powerful way.

Ex. Characteristic of both cats and dogs (1) is an extraordinary sense of smell. Smell as they may, neither cats nor dogs (2) can hear as well as bats which use echolocation for sight, navigation, and hunting. It would be interesting to see which hunting method is most successful—either the dog’s sense of smell (3), useful for tracking, or the bat’s echolocation (3), useful for targeting prey.

(1) Comparison of cats and dogs

(2) Comparison of cats and dogs PLUS contrasting the pair with bats later in the sentence

(3) Giving choices between two contrasting options—dogs or bats

To use correlative conjunctions for listing, caution must be taken. When listing more than two items or ideas, “both-and” is not an option. “Both” suggests two of something. In fact, the only option for listing more than two of anything is “not only-but also.” Here, the words do not suggest any quantity or a choice between two options like “either-or” and “neither-nor” do.

Ex. Not only do we sell chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice cream—the classics—but also mint chip, butter pecan, crazy vanilla, orange sherbet, brownie bite, cake batter, and cotton candy.

There are obviously many ways to use coordinate conjunctions to combine two simple sentences or phrases into one complex and interesting sentence. However, equally important as matching conjunctions with their proper mate is matching sentence/phrase structures in parallel form. Just like coordinating conjunctions connect phrases as equals, the structure of those sentence parts must also be equals.

Ex. Correct= Everyone hid in the storm cellar as the rushing winds passed, tense and silent.=both adjectives

Incorrect= Your flat farmland and cutting down the trees provided the perfect landscape for a funnel cloud to form.= “Your flat farmland” is a noun phrase. “Cutting down the trees” is a gerund, a verb phrase where the verb is in the “ing” form.

In writing, the parts of a sentence need to be as consistent as your message. You wouldn’t want to contradict your main point, right? You probably also don’t want to negate your point at sentence-level with distracting disturbances in tone, rhythm, syntax, and clarity.

Coordinating and correlative conjunctions: Use them correctly, or don’t use them.

Self-Editing Tip #3: Redundancy, Reiteration, Repetition

Redundancy, Reiteration, and Repetition—there’s a critical difference between making sure your message is purposefully apparent in every facet of your work (reiteration) and restating that message verbatim at every opportunity until it gets in the reader’s way or insults their intelligence (redundancy).

Whether you write in a technical capacity like web content and print materials (think client-targeted brochures, newsletters, mailers, etc.) or creatively for pleasure, reiteration is important. You want your readers to know what you’re about. Keep like items or topics together to avoid redundant menu labeling, but feel free to creatively reiterate important info when necessary.

Consider this situation:

You are the writer for your company’s website. There are ten tabs on the site menu, each leading to different groups of information. All of that information still relates back to the same central theme, idea, product, whatever. As the writer, you nod toward that unifying topic on each page in some way. This is good. After all, what if page seven of ten is the only page a particular client visits? What if page four of ten is the one that shows up in a Google search? The customer may look at that page only when coming to your site. Prepare for the possibility and probability that any individual page on your site is the only page your reader sees. Are they going to know what your company is all about?

However, and I cannot stress this enough, copying your mission statement, slogan, company motto, sales pitch, etc. verbatim on each page is not the way to make sure that reader gets the message. Remember how I said you must consider that they may only see one out of ten pages? They might also see all ten. So if you’ve been redundant instead of informative, find a way to rephrase that enables you to stay true to your purpose without insulting your reader’s intelligence.

Another effective way to make sure your reader gets the whole message is to encourage your audience to take a look at the rest of your site (or any other publication). Give them an incentive, give them motivation, and give them something to look forward to. Every writer must decide for herself what those incentives, motivations, and exciting features will be. For some, it might be giveaways and contests. For others, it might simply be good-natured or humorous instruction to do so. Consider your niche and your audience when deciding. Not every method will work for every reader or writer. Also, give readers easy navigation to those additional pages; i.e. Back to Top buttons, Home Page link on every page, sentences with links to other pages written in.

Let’s diverge, now. Did you notice what I did up there? “Give them an incentive, give them motivation, and give them something to look forward to.” That’s neither redundancy, nor reiteration. That is repetition. In this instance, it is also an example of isocolon—the repetition of entire grammatical structures within a sentence. You can reuse entire grammatical structures consecutively in order to create emphasis on an idea. This is a great technique for all writing. If you take the time to say something more than once in the same sentence or paragraph, most readers will realize it is something important.

Just remember, these three concepts are not the same as summarizing. For long academic or technical documents in which a final culmination of ideas is necessary for reader understanding, restating the message in a condensed way is almost always an appropriate means of wrapping up.

For more tips on web content, technical writing, and editing for business documents, check out Mike Markel’s book Technical Communication 9th edition or newer.

Self-Editing Tip #1: Read With Fresh Eyes

The Basics–proofread, revise, and edit from your audience’s point of view, not your own. You know what you mean and what your intentions are. A new reader may not. Clarity is everything.